TAMING ANXIETY – HOW MODELS KEEP THIER COOL

Bella Hadid, although crowned as the face of Dior and one of Time magazines most influential people of 2023, grapples with chronic anxiety. According to the Greek ratio of Phi, an ancient measure of symmetry, she’s the most beautiful women in the world. Yet, when she’s not working, Bella spends her time crying uncontrollably or unable to leave the house ‘crippled with anxiety.’

“I would have really hard episodes and my Mum would ask me how I was doing. Instead of responding in a text I would send a photo,” she recalled. “It was the easiest thing to do at the time because I was never able to put into words how I was feeling. I would just be in excruciating and debilitating pain and I didn’t know why.”

Bella is not alone. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in America and affect 40 million people across the nation. According to Vogue magazine, these rates have climbed amid the ongoing global pandemic. The CDC reporting that from August 2020 to February 2021, the percentage of adults with recent symptoms of anxiety or depression increased from 36.4% to 41.5%.

“Anxiety is like a magnifying glass. It magnifies only the bad things—every little ping, every little this…. In essence, what we’re trying to do is take that magnifying glass and put it to being a regular lens.”

L.A. model and criminology major, Tabatha Boretto, relates to Bella Hadid’s inner war. “I have always been a very anxious person,” she said in an interview after her latest editorial shoot. “I was always very nervous about my siblings getting hurt or putting themselves into dangerous situations. I’ve also struggled with body dysmorphia and comparing myself to others in every way from looks to intelligence which has morphed into social anxiety.”

Boretto’s recent submission to Vogue’s open casting call stirred up a sequence of emotions. Excitement, giddy anticipation morphed into all consuming worrying about the outcome. Then she remembered the research and the inner cheerleader she had designed to allow her confidence to breathe. She has since become passionate about helping other aspiring models to change their inner dialogue to find their confidence in front of the lens.

Creative Inspo Magazine: When did anxiety first start for you and when did you realize it was holding you back?

The first time I heard the word “anxiety” was when I was in elementary school and my siblings were sitting very close to the fireplace and I was concerned about them burning themselves and becoming overwhelmed with the thought of them getting injured and that’s when my mom told me what I was feeling was anxiety. From there, I think my insecurities shaped my anxiety

I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia and comparing myself to others in every way from looks to intelligence which has morphed into social anxiety. It was especially difficult for me in my school years because I had an extremely difficult time making and keeping friends because I was always in my own head being overcome with intense worries about what people thought of me – it would take a lot for me to just have a conversation with someone. 

More specifically, I get really worked up about doing/saying the wrong things, acting ‘weird’, or making someone upset. But I think switching from public school to independent study is what decreased those intense feelings about interacting with others because my school without a social aspect – all I had to worry about was showing up and doing my work. I was able to develop my own sense of style and interests and didn’t have to worry what people thought of me as much. This is also the time where I learned that I had ADHD which I believe my anxiety stems from, as well as my struggle with depression. While studying at college I learned there is usually two or three other disorders that come with anxiety.

Most mental disorders coexist with two or more which made a lot of sense as to why those three are prominent for me. By getting older I now believe that my anxiety is far more linked to depression as I tend to feel anxious when I’m also feeling depressed. Typically, my anxiety is very internal for me with the occasional anxiety attack.

Why do you think anxiety is so prominent now?

I think anxiety is more prominent in 2023 due to the pandemic. From my perspective/experience I don’t think the majority of the world was ready to be isolated from their family and friends. For example, my sister who is the total opposite of myself – super outgoing, has tons of friends, motivated – really struggled during the pandemic because she was not used to being cooped up at home away from her friends and school. I think that change in social interactions morphed into anxiety for a lot of people.

In another light, I feel like I was prepared for the quarantine because dealing with anxiety and depression for so long I was used to being isolated – I enjoy being alone and again it gave me a space where I could work on the creative aspects of my life that are usually more difficult for me to be interested in when I’m wound up into social settings. But in the same respect as people that weren’t ready for that point, we all sorta became too comfortable with being isolated and when it became time to go back out in the world it was overwhelming for numerous reasons.

What do you do to avoid an anxiety attack. What resources have helped you?

Although I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life, I was never an outwardly emotional person until my sophomore year of college when I first started dealing with depression. That was when I turned into someone who would cry quite often. That year was particularly tough because it was something I have never experienced and I had absolutely no idea what was wrong with me.

 I would get random attacks during class where I would have to go sit in the bathroom and cry in one of the stalls. Since then, I’ve learned what triggers me and when I know one is coming. For the most part, I usually experience them when I have to do something intense like a job interview, test, go on a date, meet a group of strangers, or when something drastic and unexpected happens like when my car broke down in the middle of the street. It also happens when I become extremely frustrated or when I feel like I have no control of a situation. 

They usually start out with the feeling of static in my chest, or fast breathing/shortness of breath and then I’ll find myself crying uncontrollably. I haven’t quite mastered the art of avoiding anxiety attacks but as I stated I know the signs and my triggers. I’m typically able to just relax myself by working it out in my head before it turns into a bad attack but that also depends on the situation that caused it. 

In other cases, at least for myself I just let it all out because I believe that’s what my body needs in order to calm down. I’ve also found ways to self soothe like writing my thoughts down, being with my dog, rocking back and forth, watching a silly movie, or calling a family member.

How do you find peace and strength to combat anxiety when your environment feels chaotic?

How I find peace when my environment feels chaotic is by being busy with my hands – of course only if this is doable in my environment. I’ve always loved being creative and working with my hands so I picked up working with clay over the pandemic and I have found it to be extremely therapeutic. When I am feeling anxious at home I typically pick up some clay from the craft store and work with it for hours or I clean/organize my house. If I am in a social setting that presents as chaotic I typically just confide in a friend or my boyfriend about how I am feeling.

For myself, I find communication to be one of the best tools to calm yourself down because that way it’s not just festering in your head. In the same setting, if I can, I will even just pull myself out of the situation by either stepping away and taking a breather or by simply just going home. 

What resources do you love that help you calm anxiety? Is it certain music, a podcast or influencer? Please list specifics so others can easily find them.

I am lucky enough to have a handful of resources available to me when I am struggling with anxiety. Working with ceramics and talking to someone close to me helps me a lot with calming my anxious thoughts. I also like listening to podcasts and watching youtube videos, specifically true crime – which I know sounds like the worst thing for anxiety but its something that I find very interesting. 

Similarly, I watch makeup videos as well. I am currently hooked on Sophdoeslife who is a British youtuber. I find accents to be soothing at times to listen to. I also watch Morgan B Cohen on tiktok who makes videos about her daily life and internal thoughts. She talks about her struggles with social anxiety and depression and I find it helpful to see content I can relate to. Knowing I’m not alone helps and sometimes she gives great advice.

Another resource I use is my psychiatrist who has helped me find the right medication for my specific needs. Advocating for yourself and asking for help is a great resource if you’re struggling with anxiety. Taking my medications and having it available when I am unable to calm myself is sometimes the best option. 

How would you apply finding peace in chaos during a shoot?

When I find myself in a chaotic situation I tend to tell myself that not everything is as big of a deal as I think it may be. I typically get myself worked up by thinking way too much about a situation and wanting it be whatever I conjured up in my head but reminding myself that it’s okay if the result isn’t what I hoped or that it doesn’t matter if I said the wrong thing helps me find peace that its ok to mess sometimes. I think the same can be said for modeling. At the end of the day what matters is that I gave it my best shot and that it’s ok to feel silly or stupid during a shoot because no one else is thinking that and sometimes it can even turn out to be an awesome photo!

Is developing more confidence the way to overcome anxiety?

I wouldn’t say that developing confidence is the way to overcome anxiety but it is definitely helpful. Growing up I did dancing, acting, singing and pageants which at times brought out the worst of my anxieties but it also taught me to be confident. Having to perform and speak to a panel of judges also helped me develop a lot of social skills as well – which took a long time to overcome but I got there! Learning how to be confident in myself has helped me overcome some of my anxieties. 

If you’re feeling anxious before a shoot, how do you ensure you’re bringing confidence in front of the lens.

Usually when I find myself anxious before a shoot it’s not because of the camera but because I have to be with strangers. I get super nervous about having to interact with people I don’t know and I have to take the extra step to have an internal pep talk before I do so. Something a friend once told me was that “you’ll never have to see those people again” and honestly that really helped me. Even though I might see those people again I just go in there as if I won’t and for whatever reason that helps me gain back my confidence in my social skills. Again like I said previously, all that matters is that I did my best and I tried. I also tell myself that there is room for error and there is typically always an opportunity to try again and grow. For quality resources to learn more check out: ‘Modular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Adolescents With Depression’ by Dr. Katherine Nguyen Williams Ph.D.